Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
