OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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