Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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