well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
where am i from again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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