i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
