My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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