So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
