Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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