I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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