they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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