No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
