I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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