are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize