with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
found the other keg... it's in the tree
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
