the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
