I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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