Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
