Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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