i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
