I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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