I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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