You smell like stripper and shame
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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