What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize