At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
