Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize