Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
