We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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