Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
