Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Houston, we have a blender
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
