Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
