Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
