areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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