At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
