I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
