I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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