He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
