That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We are two peas in an std pod
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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