I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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