I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
