theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
