just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
