I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
