Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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