this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
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I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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