I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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