I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
