it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My life is pants optional.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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