He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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