Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
