yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
