There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
and you fell through a lawn chair
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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