this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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