Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
