If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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