I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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