My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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