He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Redeem this text for a blowjob
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
