he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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