How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
