i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize