The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
