He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
