She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
