i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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